When I grow up, I hope to be this eloquent.

The link in this post is an impassioned, informative speech by Jonathan Emile McCoy on why the "n-word" should be abolished. I agree with him.

He is also ELEVEN YEARS OLD!

What does this have to do with media? I...um, saw it on YouTube?

http://theloop21.com/society/why-we-should-all-thank-dr-laura?page=3

Here, also, is my response to Keli Goff's article:

Dear Ms. Goff,

Thank you for an insightful article and also, thank you for the inclusion of Jonathan McCoy's speech. I hope the following is half as eloquent:

I won't add to the tide of people that knock Dr. Laura Schlessinger. It has been done quite a lot and I cannot add anything new to the mix, save to say that mass electronic communication does not equal gravitas (so sayeth the commenter!!), which becomes more and more evident with the passage of time.

Over at the Huffington Post, Earl Ofari Hutchinson surmised that it was lame to think that the use of the "n-word" would dun it into irrelevance. He is almost correct. Had I walked up to you and made mention of "Jazz" or "Rock 'n' Roll" many years ago, you would have slapped my face. Why? Both were euphemisms for the "f-word". Nowadays, it is hard to think of anyone who considers these terms socially unacceptable. Miles Davis, was known to hate the term Jazz, preferring it just be called, "Music", much like Tito Puente's dislike of the phrase, "Salsa" ("Man, that music is some good SAUCE(!)"). There is a nasty cultural stratification that is attached to genre. Take, for example, "Science Fiction". It carries a stigma of being capable of being issued in book form, read, studied, but is sometimes considered less than "literature" and as such cannot be discussed with other works.

Now, imagine that you have played your instrument, which you have loved and studied for many years, honed with hours of practice, graduated from Berklee with a degree only to hear someone say, "I LOVE Keli Goff's playing. She plays great F**k. She can interprete F**k along with the great f**kers of the past."

What Hutchinson may have meant, but left out is that when you add the element of race, THEN, it is a bit naive to think that this most despicable word will lose its hold on people. It would be wonderful to see the day that it does, though.

As to your article (I did plan to get to your article!), here are a couple of points that I would like to bring to light. One has nothing to do with race, the other does.

I am not a writer by profession, but there is a phrase that I am getting rather tired of seeing, and that is, "...unless you've been living under a rock". I find it worn, oft-used and condescending and while I do not know you, I know that you do not wish to give off a "hipper-than-thou" vibe. I didn't know about Schlessinger's comments until I read the Huffington Post blog. Does that mean I'm an uninformed slug? No, it just means you got to that information before I did and that is one of the reasons you are employed doing what you do. May I humbly suggest, "let me tell you what has happened...", or some such phraseology. Had we been at the same party and I had said the "...rock" phrase to you, I doubt that I would have impressed you; depending on my tone, I might have repelled you.

The other point is this and it is a matter of spelling. I am not a huge fan of "black". It beats "Negro" as a word, for description in some ways, but black is:

- the absence of light
- what the bad guys wear
- technically, not a color
- "the color of my true love's hair"...oh, wait, it's dark brown. Skip that.

Worst of all, and you have used this in your article, black is...

...not capitalized!

"Aha!", you say, "I didn't capitalize "white", either!"

"Ahem", I retort, "That is precisely my point".

Being the age that I am (46), Black is preferred to Negro and "African-American" or just "African", which is unwieldy, but a bit more accurate (even though all of humanity, arguably is African; I don't have the Science background to argue that too much). African-American at least suggests that you and I have an origin. Black, however, when it comes in the middle of a sentence, has that psychologically damning lower-case "b" in front of it. Negro is not used as much (no tears shed about that), but it is always capitalized. My other humble suggestion would be that if you must use Black, capitalize it, as you should White (which, truth be told, is equally amorphous in its inclusion).

I walk with everyone else down that street called Life, and I refuse to give up on the corner that we can turn so we can veer away from the hate. I want to be able to tell my grand-nieces and grand-nephews about how bad things were regarding this, as compared to what they have seen (knowing full well that I haven't seen the soul-sucking, debilitating, mind-numbing, incapacitating racism of my ancestors).

So, down with n-word!
Down with "black"!


Don't even get me started on "Devil's Food Cake" vs. "Angel's Food Cake",
Brian Phillips

Excerpt from "The Hoaxters" by Herman Hoffman (1952)

I only saw the tail-end of this documentary, which was nominated for an Academy Award, which it lost to "The Sea Around Us" by Irwin Allen. I cannot speak to the entire film, but it featured this very timely words at the end. I was shocked how much of it applies today, particularly the "Professor" remark, with regard to some of President Obama's naysayers. From what I have gleaned, this is a Cold War-era propaganda film, but this holds up rather well:

NARRATOR: "...It is not enough to be anti-Communist. That doesn't mark the measure of a man's love for Democracy. Remember, Hitler was an anti-Communist, and accomplished his Nazi reign of hate and terror, by the violence of his cries against Communism. What we are FOR is important. Beware the hoaxters with different bottles to sell.
[SHOT OF HAND HOLDING BOTTLE LABELED "SNAKE OIL"]

NARRATOR (cont.): Beware the fearful gossip-mongers, the lunatic fringe, the calamity-howlers, the fascists, the ersatz patriots, the hate-smiths, the grubby demagogues screaming for the crackpot.

VARIOUS VOICES(in hushed tones): He's a communist! What's his religion? He's a fascist! He's a liberal, a bleeding-heart, a do-gooder! He reads too much. He talks just like a college professor! (in loud voice) I'm 100% American! 200% American! 300%! 400%! 500%!

(Music cue: Julius Fucik's "Entry Of The Gladiators")

SNAKE OIL SALESMAN: Six-hundred percent, that's what my snake-oil is, six-hundred proof!

NARRATOR: Amid the clang and clatter of clashing ideology is still heard the voice of the hoaxter, trying to destroy America, in the name of America. But the multitudes that once listened to this voice of doom, dwindled down to a mere handful. For no hoax, by whatever name it is called, can measure up to the shining truth of the human decency we call freedom, of the human hope we call liberty. Dictators come and dictators go. In the better world of the future, dictators will fall not at the point of a gun, but at the point of the truth. For we can win our fight, without going to war. The free countries of the world, with their material might and their spiritual hearts, can prove that there is no victory over the mind, when it is ruled by a whip and a gun, and that freeborn men and women, under God, will ignore the loud shout of the big lie, and listen instead to the quiet voice of the big truth.

"Al", the news that's fit to print.

There is a marvelous essay on this page about "Grandpa" Al Lewis on this page. He made up a lot of things about himself, other things were so off the beaten path, you'd swear they WERE made up!

I'll continue my essays on sitcoms soon. Keep watching the skies. While you're looking up, I'll be writing.

Post-Beulah and Pre-Obama Sitcoms, Part One

Here are few ground rules. This will not be an examination of each and every situation comedy with African-Americans. I also will do my best to strike a middle ground between contemporary attitudes and times gone by.

I was born in 1963. We were one of the few African-American families in Rockland County, NY. I didn't live in fear of the KKK, nor did Nazis terrorize us. However, when someone dumped trash on our property, my father, dumped trash on the neighboring lawns, thus putting a stop to that. So, I know there was a possibility that we weren't exactly welcomed with open arms.

I didn't live in the times that my Cousin Sarah told me about. She worked for the Bureau of Engraving and Printing, in the stamps division. A White woman wanted to hang up her coat. So, she not only removed a Black woman's coat from the rack, she wiped her feet on coat she had thrown on the floor.*

So, knowing that I didn't live in such times, I hoped for progress. In "Hollywood Shuffle" the actor portrays the actor that portrays "Batty Boy" is of the mind that a script that he doesn't die in is a good script. That is the only standard that he judges quality. As outlandish as this is, there is, of course, basis in fact. We were dropping like flies on TV and the movies! If we weren't dying, we were carted off to jail.

In comedy, the death of any character outside of a cartoon is usually, well, death, so in comedy, we stood a greater chance of survival and a lower arrest rate. "Beulah" was a comedy about a maid. On radio, she was portrayed, in a marvelous dose of sexism and racism by a White man, Mariln Hurt. When Hurt died, he was replaced by Bob Corley, another White actor. In a fit of sanity, the role of a Black maid was given to a woman of the proper ethnicity, Hattie McDaniel, which made her the first African-American woman to star in a radio comedy. She and Ethel Waters also portrayed Beulah on TV. The issue, was that she was playing a maid. This wouldn't be a problem, save for the fact that it was the ONLY show with a woman of color in the lead. Her boyfriend was a handyman. The message that could be gleaned was that was as high in society we could go. There is no shame in being a maid or a handyman, but if you turn on the TV, how would you feel if you saw someone that looked like you and they were always a maid or a manservant? The NAACP, who had earlier complained that a White man was playing Beulah on radio, to their credit, also took issue with this.

Taking the path of least resistance, Beulah was cancelled. I gather the stance taken was "the coloreds get a show and then they complain about it. Who needs the headache?" I was all set to lay into this show when I looked at a clip on YouTube and what did I see? Well, save the intro, Waters portrayed Beulah with dignity, grace and good comic timing. McQueen's credibility is undercut by her voice, but, all in all, I've seen worse.

It's an easy thing to look back nearly sixty years and look back with disdain and righteous indignation. In context, the clip I saw wasn't so bad.

The Curiosity Shop

If you'd like to read about "The Curiosity Shop", go here. As a matter of fact, it would be better if you read that first, before you read this.

I'll wait.

Dum-dum-duh-uh-doo-duh-uh-do-be-doo...

Ah! You're back. Good, because I'm not a big fan of the Fleetwoods song that the Muzak guys put on these blogs.

If you'd like to see the opening credits they are here

If you'd like to Pam Ferdin, here she is with a garbage can lid.

*sigh*

This was, according to the Retroland article, a very busy show. Here are the shards of memory about this show:

The "Onomatopoeia" puppet was supposed to be a bird, as evinced by the song on the show:

"Onomatopoeia, Onomatopoeia!
It's a most exotic word.
Onomatopoeia, Onomatopoeia!
It's a most exotic bird."

There was a song about collective nouns. You know the ones; a pride of lions, a fesnyng (!) of ferrets and my personal favorite, a murder of crows. The two that I remember were "a giggle of girls" and "a bother of boys".

There were animated films. One regular feature was about a particularly bad inventor. One invention was "The Breakaway Suit". It fell off of him, leaving him in his underwear and hat.

One of the most ingenious cartoons was about aliens observing Earth and their ruminations on the intelligent life on the planet.

The cars.

After several minutes of false conclusions, the car door opened and out jumped the people. The aliens concluded that THAT race of foolish and frivolous beings couldn't possibly survive.

This show attracted no less than Ray Bradbury. It was an animated film with a poem about an entity called "The Groon".

This show also featured Don Herbert (Mr. Wizard), voice talent legends June Foray, Mel Blanc, Bob Holt and Don Messick and it was gone in a season or two. Dang.

Jack LaLanne's Eyesight is Really Good, Too

When I was in kindergarten, I would wait to be taken to school by my Mother. The TV would be on and I would see one of two things, Jack LaLanne or Captain Kangaroo.

Trivia aside: Why was Bob Keeshan's character called Captain Kangaroo? Answer at the end of this post.

Jack LaLanne's exercise show was on one day and my Mother was getting ready to take me to Mrs. (Phyllis, not Paula, the author) Danziger's class. I was sprawled across an armchair and LaLanne was going through an exercise and I was lazily kicking my leg in time to his counting.

"Come on", he said, "You can do better than that."

At this point, I got up and mimicked what he was doing.

"Ah, that's what I like to see.", said LaLanne.

At this point, I realized that LaLanne not only was quite fit, he was also gifted with amazing vision. To my great relief, the TV was in the living room and my bedroom had a door.

And now, Captain Kangaroo got his name becau...yes, who is it...please excuse me. Hey, that's my front door you just kicked in! I was just about to say that...his estate DOESN'T want it revealed? You can't...get your hands off...AAAAGH!










Sorry about that. The reason that he was called "Captain Kangaroo" was revealed on one of the earlier shows. He wore jackets that had big pockets, akin to a kangaroo's pouch.

Does anyone know a good handyman that can fix a door and a fra...

*CL-CLICK*

...which doesn't need repair and enhances my love of nature both day and night?

Vivat Keeshan!
Vivat Keeshan!
Vivat...Keeshan!

*sniff*

"In the Past, Everyone Will Be Educated for Fifteen Minutes"

The fifteen minute show has been around for a long time; Hazel Scott had a fifteen-minute show on the Dumont network in 1950 and Doodles Weaver had "A Day With Doodles"

This reminiscence starts in the 70's and I'm home from school, because I am not feeling well. After watching the usual game shows, "Concentration" and "Jeopardy", I change the channel to the local PBS station (WNET) and try to catch the shows that aren't listed in "TV Guide". In these days, daytime programming for PBS seemed to consist of "Sesame Street", "Zoom", "The Electric Company" and "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood" (liked "Robert Troll", kept getting "Bob Dog"). For about two or three hours, the listings would stop and that is when these odd fifteen-minute shows would appear.

The titles I can recall are:

The Metric System - This was during the days of the big push. Soon, the United States would stop using the English System of measurement. Liters, grams and meters would take over, or, to quote Alice, "Goodbye, feet!". Only one band from New Orleans would foresee the inevitable future. My teacher, Mr. Silverberg express the concerns of many, wondering if the US would be able to retool the machinery and the minds of many. There was resistance and the conversion became more of an integration (we think nothing of buying a gallon of milk, as well as a 2-liter bottle of Mountain Dew). Perhaps Ronald Reagan made a record of the spread of...haw, haw, I laugh to think that people would be up in arms over such things.

Ah, yes, the show. The theme was in F and it was sung by two women. Here is what I can remember of the lyrics:

The Metric System,
The Metric System,
The Metric System!

So many reasons,
Can't list 'em!
That show the wisdom,
Of the Metric System.

The Metric System,
The Metric System,
The Metric System!

The show consisted of various sketches showed the joys of conversion from English to Metric, the new increments, working for the good of the state, division of labo...
*ahem*

Sorry.

There was even an in-house hero, a puppet named "Metric Man". I remember him defeating a villain because of the ease adding decimals. "I never could add fractions!", seethed the ne'er-do-well.

Anyone for a rousing chorus of "Decimal, Decimal Dancing Dot"? This show had a pretty small budget. In one scene, a professor type, with a lab coat spoke to a kid with a beanie. In one shot, the propeller is spinning. In a second, badly edited shot, the propeller is still, however, they didn't quite edit out the prof whacking the prop to start it spinning again. The effect makes it look as if he either has it in for the beanie, or worse, the boy wearing it.

What I cannot remember is the name of a shorter-lived program about the Metric System, with an even smaller budget and THEIR in-house hero was a live-action woman named "Meter Maid", complete with cape and cowl. When she appeared, her fanfare was the stereotypical six-note affair one hears before you hear someone say "Charge!(G-C-E-G-E-Geee!!, sung by three or four guys holding their noses.

Science is Discovery - The theme was sung by a chorus of kids and part of the backing was a small drum and a glockenspiel. This was similar in style to "Mr. Wizard", but I don't remember him having a kid assisting him in experiments. I remember none of the experiments, except one needed two balloons and this fellow put them on top of his head and yelled, "Mickey Mouse! I'm fairly sure this was in black and white.

A quick aside: all of our TV's were black and white. When we inherited my Aunt Teady's old set, I was so excited, because I knew her TV's tended to be bigger than ones we bought and they tended not to have handles on top of them. We turned it on and...it was in black and white, too. I had no idea "Star Trek" was filmed in color, until my brother brought home a paperback, "Star Trek Lives!" or "The World of Star Trek" and I saw the photos on the covers. I loved "The Wizard of Oz", but as far as I was concerned, Dorothy went from a B&W Kansas to a B&W Oz. I followed Judy Garland down the Antique White road for many years until sometime in the 1980's.

The Letter People - This one can be seen on YouTube and there were 60 episodes; one for each letter of the...hmmm. In any case, the first part is the episode I remember. This episode had an obnoxious comic with an obnoxious laugh ("NNnneck-neck-neck") and obnoxious one-liners ("Where's your patience, son, in the waiting room?"). It seems that you can still buy Letter People stuff, but in wildly different designs and different songs. [Editor's note: I have corrected this link. While I do remember Miss I and her "itchy itch" "letterpeopleland" from YouTube corrected me and the change has been made.]

The only other show that I can recall was some show about English usage and I remember one scene that might as well have been written by Ernie Kovacs, as macabre as it was. A man was sitting behind a desk and he says, "What a day! I'm so tired I could shoot myself." Cut to a woman that said, "This is what's called a metaphor. This man is just explaining how tired he is". This was followed by an off-screen gunshot, her registering shock and a cut to the man's body on the floor. Once again, this is supposed to be a KID'S show!

I'll watch this, until "Big Blue Marble" or "Zoom" comes on...