Thursday, November 19, 2015

Taking the Ultrasonic Concept to a Logical Conclusion (Sadly).

This had to happen sometime.

Found in Translation

Gregorio Cortez.  A victim of racism and bad translation.
There are many online photos that poke fun at how language is mangled.  They can be funny, some are condescending.

How important is translation?  Gregorio Cortez was accused of stealing a horse.  He spoke no English.  When asked by a bad translator, "Did you trade for a horse?" he answered, "No", because the words for horse and mare are different.  What he was effectively saying in that "no" was, "I didn't trade a horse, I traded a mare." This one distinction led to a manhunt and lost lives.

There are some sites that make the world smaller.  I have an Italian pen pal.  She speaks no English and I speak no Italian.  Through Google Translate, we are able to communicate.

Take a look at this ad and continue reading after you've seen it.

In the spirit of fair play, let us see how Google vs. Elan pans out. This is a German paragraph about a band called the Rattles:
"Im Dezember 1960 wurden die Rattles in Hamburg von Achim Reichel und Herbert Hildebrandt gegründet. Am 3. Februar 1963 gewann die Band einen Wettbewerb im Hamburger Star-Club und wurde daraufhin die erste deutsche Band mit einem Engagement in diesem Club. Im Herbst desselben Jahres nahmen sie ihre erste Single auf. Danach ging die Band für fünf Wochen auf England-Tour mit Bo Diddley, Little Richard und den noch unbekannten Rolling Stones. "

Google says it means:

"In December 1960, the Rattles were founded in Hamburg by Achim Reichel and Herbert Hildebrandt. On 3 February 1963, the band won a contest in the Hamburg Star - Club and then became the first German band with a commitment to this club . In the autumn of the same year they recorded their first single . Then the band went five weeks England tour with Bo Diddley , Little Richard and the Rolling Stones still unknown."

Now, this is how Elan translates it:

"The rattles in Hamburg, Germany by Achim Reichel and Herbert Hildebrandt were founded in December 1960. On February 3, 1963, the band won a contest the star-Club in Hamburg, and became the first German band with a commitment to this club. In the autumn of the same year, they recorded their first single. After that, the band for five weeks on England tour went with Bo Diddley, Little Richard and the unknown Rolling Stones. "

RESULTS: Google did well with the first sentence, kept the date in the same order in the second sentence.  The last sentence is very stiff and misses a conjunction between "went" and "five".

Elan's first sentence is basically correct, but clumsy and they did not capitalize the Rattles' name.  They get the date in the proper format, but don't capitalize Star-Club and "won a contest the star-Club" makes no sense without an "in" that Google caught.  In the third sentence, Elan correctly puts a comma between "year" and "they". The final sentence has the same problem that Google did.  The Elan translator also knew enough to put periods in without spaces beforehand.

WINNER: (barely) Google.  I would have put it this way:

The Rattles were formed in Hamburg, Germany by Achim Reichel and Herbert Hildebrandt in December of 1960. In February 3, 1963, the band won a contest at Hamburg's Star-Club and became the first German band with a commitment to this club. That autumn, they recorded their first single. After that, they embarked on a five-week tour of England with Bo Diddley, Little Richard and the then-unknown Rolling Stones.

Yes, I changed the wording a bit, but if this were an audio book, which would you rather read?

Let's try Japanese.  This is from Cutie Morning Moon's page.  Both Google and Elan knew the text I put in was Kanji and did a translation.

Hopefully, you will see the original Japanese below:


ELAN: "In the middle of 72 years, was doing with Hiroshi and Haruo Yuya back. Vodka Collins of Godzilla and future members are working together, and I was.
Mickey Curtis and Monsieur back again doing the morning TV, daytime radio, night do live very busy days were. Then I'm only Monsieur back to do."

GOOGLE: "In the mid of 1972 , back of Yuya along with Hiroshi and Haruo also I was doing . We Godzilla and future members of the vodka Collins had been working together . Mickey Curtis and Monsieur is doing back another of the morning television , daytime radio , night is day busy enough to do a live there were many . Then I began to do only the back of Monsieur ."

Elan gets the date wrong and the first sentence is a mangle. The second sentence is also garbled, as is the third.  Google gets the date right, but the first sentence is bad as is the second and third.

I had to go the English version of this page to understand what was going on. This is what I believe it should say:

"In mid-1972, I was backing Hiroshi (Oguchi) as well as Haruo Yuya.  [The band] Godzilla and future members of the band Vodka Collins were working together.  Mickey Curtis and Monsieur (another band) were working in morning television, daytime radio and between the days and nights there was a lot of live work to be had.  I went back to playing with Monsieur."

WINNER: Neither.  Google gets a slight nod for a coherent sentence fragment, "...future members of the vodka Collins had been working together."

So, while Elan purports to be a better translator than Google, both have their faults and you cannot beat the human touch.  At least not yet, you can't.  The Elan ad is funny, but not truthful.

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Friends and Netflix: A One Episode Comparison

Yes, I liked Friends.  I may be one of 158 people of color that does, but I liked the show.
Hmph!  Be glad you can see can see all SIX.

Please, no comments as to why you don't, it serves no purpose here.  If you don't, you don't and that's fine.  One comedy writer characterized it as "Six Characters In Search of a Smack in the Mouth". I liked it and yes, there are weak episodes and it has several odd logistical issues about it, but to quote another show I'm fond of, "...we should really just relax".

As for the lack of African-Americans in starring or even recurring roles, well, valid point, but a video that addresses this issue by naming "all" of the Black people in Friends with a speaking role is not only not horribly funny, it's rude and it commits the sin of not including some of the Black people that did have roles, such as Obba Babatundé as a dance instructor. I won't even provide a link to it.

Having said that, there was quite the noise made about Netflix streaming Friends. It's good, and there were many articles written about this, but I think one point was missed: these are bowdlerized versions!

What you are seeing are cut (syndicated?) versions of these shows.  How much?  Let's do an anorak's comparison of the Netflix version and the extended DVD version of the Season 8 opener, "The One After I Do", written by Marta Kauffman and David Crane, which was not only one of their funnier episodes, but it was the first to air after 9/11 (it was dedicated to the people of New York City).

If you have not watched Friends, there are spoilers ahead, so stop reading if you want to watch the series in order.  If you are a fan, take the time to watch the episode and read this while watching.

Here are the differences:

DVD - Starts with Monica and Chandler talking about the wedding and ends with Ross talking about how well their wedding went in comparison to all of his.

NETFLIX - Sequence omitted.  Uses the first scene after the credits as the "teaser".

First scene:

The following lines are on the DVD and not on Netflix
Ross (to photographer) - "You, take a LOT of pictures!"

Chandler (to Joey): And, be careful who you hug, OK? My father's in tears because you got blood on his dress!

NETFLIX: The "teaser" ends with Phoebe saying, "What? Well, he never said that to me!"

Everything after the Ed Begley, Jr. discussion has been cut (38 seconds)

NETFLIX: Ends this scene with a still of Phoebe and Rachel
DVD: Ends with a still of Jack, Judy, Ross, Monica and Chandler.

Second Scene: Intact.
(Anorak note: "Our Love is Here to Stay" is Monica and Chandler's first dance)

Third Scene: Intact.

Fourth Scene:
DVD only
Chandler (using a fork on his new shoes): Who's slippery NOW?
Jack Geller: Isn't that just the BEST feeling, rubbing a fork on the bottom of your shoe?

Chandler (upon hearing his Mother brag about her new lover, Dennis): Are my ears bleeding?
Nora Bing: Don't mind Chandler.  He's always been shy.

Fifth Scene: Intact

Sixth Scene:
Chandler: No, apparently they locked themselves in a Men's room stall.  Perhaps when they get out.(cut)
Joey: Aw, who am I kidding?  I belong in radio.
NETFLIX: Scene ends with Chandler's reaction to Joey's defense of his small feet.

Seventh Scene. - Intact.

Eighth Scene:
Ben: Dad, can you go back to your table?
Ross: No, apparently, little Molly Gilbert is enjoying her grown-up salmon en croute. (eats a kiddie hot dog)

ODD PAN AND SCAN MOMENT: For some strange reason, when Ross gets up from the table in disgust after being teased by the children, on the DVD he is shot in full-figure.  On NETFLIX he is in a closeup.  Why?

Ninth Scene:

Chandler(commenting on Joey's small feet):'s like he's running on tiny little pegs.
NETFLIX: Scene ends with Joey saying, "Hey!" and storming off.

Tenth Scene - Intact

Eleventh Scene

All lines after "You stole my moves!" were cut, which loses all of Judy Geller's lines and a very funny denouement to the dance sequence (26 seconds)

Twelfth Scene - Intact

Thirteenth Scene (during the credits)

Mona walking away and Ross smirking has been cut. (8 seconds)

It's still a funny episode in the NETFLIX version, but if you are a fan, try to find the DVDs.  Some episodes have commentaries and they are good as well(NewsRadio's, by contrast are done by people that do NOT want to do them).

For those of you who like this type of show, I highly recommend the first three seasons of BBC's Coupling.  Steven Moffatt, before Doctor Who (and thankfully, after "Chalk") wrote some amazing episodes and any critics who say that Coupling is a Friends knock-off are wrong, they are quite different and both have their merits.  Skip the American version but... can't see it on Netflix at this time.  Sorry.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

My Disdain for Entertainment Articles, Part Two

It has been announced that Jon Stewart will be leaving the Daily Show.  I will demur commenting on living in times that show that comedy show host has been considered one of USA's most trusted journalist, and I will not use this commentary to extol the show, even though I am fond of it.

What bothers me is that from the few articles (hardly a scientific sample) that I have seen such as this one from Time Magazine, by Tessa Berenson and Dan Hirschhorn leave out important parties.  This is amplified by the statement that Craig Kilborn started the Daily Show.

This is untrue.  Kilborn was the first host, but Madeleine Smithberg and Lizz Winstead were the creators of the show.  Also, the article mentions Stephen Colbert's stint on the Daily Show, but it does not state that he was hired before Stewart joined the show.

The Daily Show was quite a different beast in those days.  The show was less concerned with news and seemingly more concerned with making fun of people; take a look at this clip at about fifteen minutes in, or the Lewis Black segment at eighteen minutes.  Now, in all fairness, one does not end up on a show like this without signing a release, but the humor of those days felt much crueler, because the people that they mocked were not public figures.  About the most public many of the figures got was public access TV, which is known for varying standards of quality.

Kilborn's puckish attitude during these times may have hastened his exit, doing himself no favors by making some scurrilous comments about Winstead, however, the show was not without some charm. The "5 Questions" segment got some funny responses.  John Cleese was asked, "Why does English food suck?"  He very quickly responded, "We had an empire to run!"

Jon Stewart, who made his presence known to Comedy Central viewers with the clip show "Short Attention Span Theater" along with Patty Rosborough (who seemed to do an inordinate amount of laughing), along with his crew did the Daily Show a great favor by shifting the focus away the average person and focusing on politics and politicians.

The Craig Kilborn version of the Daily Show, had it ended when he left, would not be remembered as fondly as the current incarnation.  As a matter of fact, in his first show, Stewart does the 5 questions bit with Michael J. Fox and says after a stumble, "It's not my bit, what do I care?"

Kilborn has gone on to other ventures and even had a longer stint on the "Late Late Show" before Craig Ferguson took over, however, he has not gone on to anything of great note.

As stated in the previous entry, in times when information is easily obtained, DO YOUR RESEARCH.

Monday, February 9, 2015

My Disdain for Entertainment Articles.

It would be quite easy to look at the plethora of online sources and pick at them, but let's look at USA Today.  Brian (darn, such a nice first name) Mansfield wrote a listicle about the pockmarked record of the "Best New Artist" category in the Grammys.

There is the usual level of snark sans information (" But did anybody seriously think the daughter of Pat Boone had a career ahead of her as a major pop star?"), but let's look at the hard facts.  Remember that this category is supposed to be for artists just starting out.  At one time, Whitney Houston was considered not eligible for this category, because of some background vocal work she did on other albums.  So, what about Mansfield's optional choices:

Choice 4 (1978): Cheap Trick had released two album by 1978.
Choice 3 (1977): Hall & Oates had released FIVE albums by this point.
Choice 1 (1967): The Mamas and the Papas and Percy Sledge had both recorded two albums in 1966. Jeannie Seely recorded in 1964 for Challenge.  The oddest choice may be Simon and Garfunkel. They already had an album out in 1964, but they already had a hit as "Tom and Jerry" a full TEN YEARS before this.

USA Today would be better served by an article that didn't make it's choices so arbitrarily.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

The Official Reasons for Tatiana Maslany's Emmy Snub

Is this considered a "kiss-off" gesture in Maslany's country of origin?
Ken Levine's wonderful blog opined, "The fact that Tatiana Maslany was not nominated for her extraordinary work in ORPHAN BLACK means the entire exercise is a complete and utter sham. She plays nine characters – all brilliant, all distinctive, intermingling with each other, and at times even impersonating each other – and yet she was ignored."

Here are the official explanations:
Tatiana Maslany lobbied hard, but Tatiana Maslany canceled her out by splitting the vote in the same category.
Tatiana Maslany, on the other hand felt that she personally did not do her best work, so she was not disappointed by the news and Tatiana Maslany blamed the writers for not doing a good job this year. Tatiana Maslany's notorious drug habit made for on-set discord, so she is not respected by her colleagues, which is ironic, considering that Tatiana Maslany's strict adherence to the teachings of the Jehovah's Witnesses shuns ceremony and excess of ANY kind.

Also, Tatiana Maslany regularly pooh-poohs TV work over film work. Tatiana Maslany pooh-poohs film AND TV and feels that stage is the only true way to be a thespian (Sidenote: TMZ retracted an earlier story about Ms. Maslany and a female lunch date at Lawry's, as well as firing a unnamed P.A. with a faulty hearing aid).

Finally, Tatiana Maslany feels that the work is its own reward and shuns the Emmys."

Tracey Ullman, in a recent in-depth interview said, "So?"

Unfortunately, this person has taken it upon herself to talk about this controversial subject.  I remember the days when people didn't go on and on spouting half-baked theories...

Friday, June 14, 2013

2013 Fall Preview - Fox: Dads

Cast: Martin Mull, Peter Riegert, Giovanni Ribisi and Seth Green

Why wait for the TV Guide?  Let's start reviewing new TV shows now!  Also, if you are here because you heard my guest round on the Podquiz Podcast 430, good on you!

Here is "Dads".  Go to this link, watch the trailer and come back:

It's nice to see Ribisi not play a fringe-y character.  He was great in "Friends" and "X-Files", so it will be nice to see if he can pull off being a straight guy.  Same goes for Seth Green.

Here is where we run into some old tropes: "Mystery Science Theater 3000" and "South Park" employ a similar comedy axiom: if you want to say something outrageous, don't give those lines to folks that look like your target audience.  MST3K had robots do the dirty work.  "South Park" has the kids do most of that.

This year, it's the older folks.  As evinced by "The Millers", older folks are getting to say the politically incorrect (one of these days I am going to post how I feel about the kvetching about the constrictions of political correctness) and the base.  Hey, it worked for "Golden Girls", so why not?

As with the Millers, parents show back up, with all of their faults, making their children miserable.  I like this cast, although Tonita Castro does seem to end up as a domestic worker more times than I'd like to see.  The chemistry in this trailer is better than "The Millers", but the writing is bugging me.

Well-worn cliches: Pop-culture (heh, sorry!) references.  They got it out of the way fairly early, but if you're going to make one that is twenty-six years old, either don't tell me what it comes from, or use a more famous quote, so you don't feel the NEED to tell me where it comes from.  "Modern Family" used one and didn't feel the need to explain it and I thought it was hilarious.  A party was being planned and two fellows come to the door that were hired to play animals.  With very deadpan expressions, this was the dialogue:

1st Guy: Hey.
2nd Guy: Hey.
1st Guy: We're the monkeys.

...and then the show continued.  You either get the reference and laugh, or you don't get it and, guess what?  You STILL laugh, because these guys have no energy at all in their delivery.  "Modern Family" didn't break an arm patting themselves on the back.  "Dads" did.

Another cliche is the line gone too far.  "Don't use the bathroom between three and four, that's my 'go time'", is unnecessary.  Perhaps, "Don't use the bathroom between three and four.  Trust me." I know what goes on in a bathroom.

And we're on to stereotype two: smart Asian AND Asian-taking-pictures.

I consider it an insult if someone asks me a question, to which I say "no", at which point the asker decides to rephrase the question hoping for a yes, on the off-chance that I didn't understand.

I see very little difference between "Dads" and "The Millers".  I hope I'm wrong.